Overwhelmed

Update 3/29/14:

I wrote the below about three weeks ago. I wanted to lay back and read it before I posted it, and try to describe how I’m feeling now. Today is our baby’s birthday, and we are wrapping up our last and FINAL garage sale TODAY. 

Right now, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The storage unit is coming on Monday, the attic is cleared out, our trailer is here. Things are looking up.

Our party is on 4/5, and we have a number of wonderful sponsors. and things are looking up. 

WE CAN SEE THE LIGHT. IT’S CLOSE.

I don’t feel as overwhelmed as I did just three weeks ago.  That….THAT is a great feeling. 🙂 

 

Since about the 16th of December, our life as a family has been pure over-the-top stress with some happy breaks in between.

That was the day we found out that we would no longer be residing in our current residence. To top it off, this email was received 9 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

AT DISNEYLAND.

The whole rest of the day was just filled with that blank-minded “What now?”. Going through the motions on the rides with your kids and trying to pretend everything is as good as can be, just trying to keep them in the dark about the actuality of the situation at hand.

Life-shifting, life-altering changes with three children, two of whom are under the age of 4.

If you ever tried to actually accomplish something with two toddlers AND manage to give them the attention that they completely deserve, you are an actual saint. For Amy and myself—we’ve found it impossible.

The sheer amount of things that we needed to accomplish that were running through our heads on this day was absolutely dizzying and really, completely impossible.

We had lived our lives for so long in family turmoil, letting it tear away the bond that we had with each other for years now, while passively preparing for these speculative “what if” scenarios. Wondering what would happen if I lost my job or we were kicked out of our house for a variety of family-related reasons.

I remember us riding home from Disneyland, the kids asleep in the back completely unaware of the bomb that we just had dropped on us in the line for Pinocchio. It was quiet.

“Ryan, what are we going to do?”

I had no idea. No clue where to even THINK about beginning this process.

We are now entering the fourth and final month of complete chaos. 

These last three months have been the absolute most stressful time in my life to date.  I’ve been curious as to where we might fall on the Holmes and Raes Stress Scale, because I believe that I’m above the level of “entire body imploding on itself” and I’m sure Amy is right there, if not ahead of where I am.

Let’s see:

stress-30-scale

Well, I did some quick math.

I personally am at 339. 

I’m not truly sure the span of time this is calculated on (if it’s a year or two years), but the bottom line is this: MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE OFF OF MY BODY.

To top it off, the weekend of the 3/1, Amy and I had our first of two estate sales. Both of us are complete rookies, so it was 7:30 a.m. So what did we do next?

Oh…we just let a bunch of foaming-at-the-mouth weirdos stampede into our house Black Friday style. (Obviously the smartest option).  At one point it was just Amy and I trying to keep an eye on the garage, the upstairs, and the downstairs.

Needless to say, the tablet that our girls love (something that to my chagrin has been used to keep them occupied much more frequently than we would ever care to admit recently) WAS STOLEN. Not only that, but some of Amy’s great-grandmother’s jewelry was stolen as well. (Which was something awesome to find out about a week later after we had semi-recovered from being violated by a group of Craiglist junkies)

black-friday-crowd1

“Oh, cool. Are you just waiting for Ryan and Amy’s estate sale too?  Just go outside and give them the okie-doke, and I’ll steal some s**t. “

So here is our scheduled list of events until we leave on 4/7:

  • Clear out the entire house, clean it, and get it ready for a party on 4/5. (About 1/350th done)
  • Plan and execute said party on a shoestring budget.
  • Get the trailer we purchased out of storage, and begin working on that. (Super easy, obviously). Just have to clean it out, learn how to tow it, and make it our new home. NO BIG DEAL.
  • Get ready for an event (Babies in Bloom Baby Fest) on March 23rd
  • Have another estate sale on 3/16 (Like 1/4th ready, and it’s Monday)
  • Do all of the above with three children who need our undivided attention and love.

What’s going to give?

–Ryan

 

 

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